Welcome to Issue 002 of Craving Realness, I hope you’re doing well this week!

I’m officially 5 months on HRT. 

I wanted to get started for years and I always held myself back or made up some excuse as to why I could never transition. 

5 months on HRT felt like an impossible dream. Now that I’m here it almost feels like just another day. 

Funny how perspective can change everything.

The topic of self-acceptance came up recently in a conversation I was having with a friend. We were chatting about our personal flaws and how we tend to judge ourselves too harshly. She told me that she “wished she could find self-acceptance.”

Find. Self. Acceptance. 

I’ve been thinking about this line since that conversation. Something about it just felt off.

I realized it's the same way I had once thought of self-acceptance when I was struggling with coming to terms with being trans.

I think it’s because the phrase “find self-acceptance” feels disempowering. As if accepting yourself is only something that can come from years of searching, or if you’re lucky you’d stumble upon it while walking down the street.

I don’t agree with the notion that self-acceptance is something only for the lucky, the naïve, or those who’ve searched day in and day out. 

I’d like to claim my own self-acceptance.

I believe self-acceptance is a daily action. It’s a choice that we must make for ourselves. It doesn’t just find us, we don’t trip over it, it’s a daily practice. A habit.

If you think of self-acceptance through this perspective, it becomes something you have control over. It’s no longer a mythical being just over the horizon.

 It becomes achievable.

I’ve struggled with accepting my trans identity for years. I tried casting it away, but it crawled back. I tried running from it, but I guess I’m too slow. I even said “I accept that I’m trans, but I don’t have to live it.” That didn’t work either.

After losing all those rounds I finally tried looking at myself in the mirror and fully acknowledging and accepting that I was in fact trans, and that I desperately wanted to do something about it.

This moment of taking the first step of acceptance marked a turning point in my struggle with my identity. I could finally stop spinning in circles and take control over my transition.

I didn’t find this self-acceptance. I made it a choice, and then a habit. 

It became a choice I make every day and every day it gets a little bit easier.

If you are struggling with your own self-acceptance, I totally get it. It’s not always the easiest or most accepting world out there. but hopefully you can take some steps to accept yourself despite those external influences.

This is still very much the beginning of my journey, but now I’ve made steps forward. Practicing self-acceptance has given me strength and conviction in my identity. 

Below you’ll find some quick steps to get started on your self-acceptance practice.

Get Started

• Write out a list of 3 to 5 acceptance affirmations and read them daily. I wrote a list and placed it on my mirror. I think it really works.

• Start journaling.
  Writing out how your thoughts, feelings, and fears during transition is a great way to process all that we’re going through.

• Quiet the Inner Critic. We all have that critical voice in our head. Whenever it starts speaking up, try to stop it and flip it around to something positive or constructive.

Closing

Thank you so much for reading! I love having this outlet to share my journey with you and to share what I find and learn along the way. If you haven’t already, subscribe to my newsletter! It’s a great way to stay up to date on my posts and get them directly in your inbox.

I’d like to leave you with some closing thoughts:

• Acceptance is the only way to avoid getting stuck in pain and trauma.

• Denial can lead to a lifetime of internal turmoil.

• The journey from denial to acceptance is pivotal in transition, and in life.

• Living in denial leads to dissatisfaction in life.

“our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
― Brené Brown

I hope you have a fabulous week!

Yours,